CityLife

Can love really conquer the age barrier?

LIZ Jones rushes downstairs to pick up the 'phone after tending to her four beloved cats.

Usually, her husband, Nirpal Dhaliwal, has to compete for his 42-year-old wife's attentions with Snoopy, Squeaky, Susan and Sweetie. But the 31-year-old is currently in India, his parents' homeland, taking refuge from female flak.

Still, even thousands of miles away, he cannot escape bad vibes from a growing army of female detractors who think Liz has been shabbily treated by the man she married three years ago when he was, and still is, a fledgling author, dependent on her for emotional and financial support.

And how does he repay this attractive, intelligent woman who slathers herself in expensive creams and drapes her slimline figure in gorgeous designer frocks? Well, he calls her "Chubby" for a start. Irony aside, how many weight-conscious women want a pet name like that?

But, cruellest of all, Nirpal makes disparaging references to the age gap, as Liz reveals in her column in the Mail On Sunday's You magazine and now in her book, Liz Jones's Diary... How One Single Girl Got Married.

Nirpal

Although Liz initially lied to Nirpal about her true age (she claimed to be three-and-a-half years younger) and once wore a sweater dress (it wasn't her fault she was a fashionista during the decade that style forgot), his age fixation seems a punishment too far.

He is "someone who consistently undermines me, saps my strength, makes cheap jibes about my age," writes Liz.

And, as she comes to terms with the fact that the baby bandwagon has probably left her behind because she concentrated on a glittering career that has included being editor of women's glossy, Marie Claire, and features editor of the London Evening Standard he says: "I am embarking on what it is to be a man right now. You are embarking on the menopause."

What a cad! But Liz is quick to defend the man she loves, speaking softly, almost shyly ("I will write things I would never say") about the one-sided nature of her account.

"It's totally my side of the story. I am completely honest about it, but it's my view, not his. He often has a totally different version of events so, to a large extent, it isn't really fair on him. He doesn't get the chance to reveal just how moody I am."

And Liz's typically Virgoan obsession with cleanliness must be wearing for any blokey bloke. Five weeks ago, Nirpal flew out to India in order to escape the publicity merry-go-round that has accompanied publication of her book.

When he returns, Liz has a choice: "If I carry on writing about him, we'll have to call it a day."

Dirty socks

LIZ clearly doesn't want this, although she is aware that women all over the nation are willing her to stick up for herself and tell Nirpal where he can stick his dirty socks.

But she is pessimistic about the chances of an age-gap relationship working when the woman is older. Although she did take comfort from a recent interview with 61-year-old Francesca Annis - whose partner, Ralph Fiennes, is 18 years younger - and can look upon Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake (11-year age gap) with a knowing smile.

"It is particularly difficult for women, because having children is the big issue. Biology doesn't care whether you wear combats.

"Francesca told me that Ralph didn't want to have children, but if your husband does it's different. I feel quite guilty about the fact that I am depriving him, so am more lenient than I would be with a man of my own age."

Age-gap relationships don't have much to recommend themselves in terms of building female confidence either, particularly at that fragile, post-40 stage in any woman's life.

"He thinks the fact that I'm with a younger man should be an incredible boost to my confidence, but it isn't, and these kind of relationships store up problems," adds Liz.

But, career-orientated though she may be, Liz - the youngest of seven children - is also the product of parents who still held hands in bed after being married for 58 years. So she will stop writing about her yoga-loving, slobbish husband in a few months time.

"I did warn him, when we first started seeing each other, that I would write about us. But he was 26 then and quite liked the idea. As the relationship has become more difficult, he has been very, very angry about it.

"He says I'm only known for writing about him but I have written 182 pieces in the past two years about other things. Perhaps my next book will be a manual about cats - I'd like that."

Places are still available at Wednesday's (Sept 21) M.E.N. literary lunch in association with holberrybrown at The Lowry Hotel from 12.30pm. Tickets priced £37.50, which includes lunch, with a glass of wine and coffee can be obtained by contacting Margaret Brown on 01423 772217 or Julie Holberry on 07970 978989.