CityLife

That Peter Kay Book: Part two

PETER Kay's world was turned on its head; adding to his jobs at the garage and the cinema, he now had a run of comedy gigs to keep him busy.

Within a week of winning City Life Comedian of the Year, he appeared at several comedy clubs and couldn't believe the money he was earning: "I remember being told on the phone, "I can give you é30", and thinking, 'Bloody hell! é30 for 20 minutes. I used to work all week at the cinema for é42.50."

It was at the cinema that Peter met his now wife, Susan Gargan. They got chatting and she decided to go and watch him play a gig at Jabez Clegg. The next night the pair went on a date to Blackburn Ice Arena, but spent the bulk of the evening in the Casualty Department of Blackburn Royal Infirmary after Peter slipped and broke his arm.

Meanwhile, on the comedy circuit Peter was beginning to bring his own crowd. According to one agent, other comics hated those evenings when the rising star was compere.

Among his favourite tricks to sabotage his fellow comedians' routines was to take the microphone stand, lower it and tighten it to the point that when they came on they'd have to spend the first minutes trying to adjust it.

"First impressions are all important," she says. "And if you're wrestling with a microphone when you should be telling jokes it's likely that the audience will start thinking, 'This is rubbish; we want Peter back.' I'm laughing, but the comedians? Let's just say it p****d on their chips."

Ambitions

Peter's had become Manchester's best kept secret. But if he harboured ambitions, making it big in London was not among them. "Why do we have to go to London?" he says.

"I love being at home. Life is all about your family and friends. I'd rather pack it all in than live there. I can go down to London and perform at some flash corporate do, the next day I'm in my tracksuit bottoms eating me mam's cooking. And it seems to me like the only real bit was Bolton."

The way that Peter Kay has rooted his entire career in his home town is incredible. He has said, "You write about what you know, and what I know is Bolton." In trying to quantify what it is that makes him funny, the answer is always 'Bolton'. It is almost as if he feels that if he leaves the place of his birth some magic and luck will disappear.

The other thing that roots him to the town is his mum. When he is house hunting his major criterion is that they shouldn't be more than two songs away from each other on the car radio.As his fame grew Peter behaved as if nothing extraordinary was happening in his life.

Conscious of his weight he joined Slimmers' World with his mum. Those who recognised him suspected they were being filmed as a candid-camera joke, but he weighed in with everyone and stayed for the motivational chats by the club organiser.

Even when he landed a regular slot on BBC2's The Sunday Show he would rush from the studios to rip tickets and show people to their cinema seats in the afternoon.

Peter has never been altruistic. In the early days he couldn't afford to be. Then, when he started making money, it was always with the fear at the back of his mind that it would all end tomorrow, and he'd be back on the bins.

Bungalow

Just as his 2002 'Mum Wants a Bungalow' tour was due to begin, the official website that had been started by a couple of his friends back in 1997 was taken offline. Weeks later the personal messages from Peter had gone. In their place were pages and pages of merchandise. Peter Kay plc was open for business.

He went on to play 180 dates, the biggest comedy tour this country had ever seen, with estimated ticket sales of é5m. The MEN Arena show, which was on his 30th birthday, was the UK's biggest ever stand-up comedy show.

The next day he was at Bolton Hospice on New Chorley Road telling the patients his only plans were to grow a beard. Then he announced that Susan, who was still working in Boots in Bolton town centre, was expecting their first child, helped choose his mum's bungalow in Ladybridge, helped his Nan emulsion her front room and went to a football match.

After the birth of his son, Charlie, Peter decided to put back filming of the Phoenix Nights spin-off series he had written with Paddy McGuinness. Phoenix Nights was co-written by Peter Kay, Dave Spikey and Neil Fitzmaurice, with occasional remarks by Patrick McGuinness. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere picked up where Phoenix Nights left off.

There were parts for Holy Mary, Kenny Snr and Young Kenny, but not Jerry St Clair - even though in one episode we see a banner draped over the club wall reading 'Happy 60th Birthday Jerry'.

The joke didn't go unnoticed by Dave Spikey, still in his early 50s, who called it 'a bit cheeky'. Neil Fitzmaurice too has not been invited back into the Peter Kay fold. Neither is there room for Daniel Kitson, who during the DVD commentary Peter groans: 'the b*****d' every time he appears.

Rift

The rift between the pair is such that when Phoenix Nights out-takes were screened as part of a special Peter Kay Night in April, Kitson's face was pixellated out in some scenes.

So will there ever be more Phoenix Nights? As Peter told Radio 1 just before Christmas 2005: "I think there's more chance of them bringing back hanging."

In 2005 Peter's star rose far and away beyond that of any other British comedian. It was part due to the John Smith's adverts, but also thanks to (Is this the way to) Amarillo.

But growing fame brought a backlash. When Peter released his Live at the Manchester Arena DVD there were cheers as his fans rushed to buy it, but then, when they discovered that he was performing the same set as on the Live at Bolton Albert Halls DVD, there were groans of consumer unrest.

And the chances of Peter doing a stand-up tour again are slim. Apart from the occasional charity show Peter has not performed stand-up since 2003. Recently he made an appearance in Doctor Who and his desire to play straight roles suggests that he wants to prove himself an actor.

Peter is contracted to one more show for Channel 4, but what next? If anything, he will achieve it all without leaving Bolton. As Brian Potter might say, "The world's your lobster."

Adapted for the MEN by Carmel Thomason.

That Peter Kay Book: The Unauthorised Biography by Johnny Dee is published by Andre Deutsch. You can buy a copy below from Amazon.