CityLife

All At Sea - Tim FitzHigham's nautical but nice adventures

Tim FitzHigham by Rich Hardcastle

WITH the recent news that veteran character actress Liz Smith is to retire, and with The Monster Raving Loony Party’s Screaming Lord Sutch and the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band’s Vivian Stanshall both passed on it’s tempting to begin lamenting the death of the great British eccentric.

Thank God then for Tim FitzHigham (and Vivienne Westwood for that matter) a man who spends most of his time doing the most mad things he can possibly devise then coming back and telling us about it.

At a recent gig where FitzHigham was reprising the songs of Flanders and Swann (and that’s an altogether different review) he noted that alongside the F&S CDs he would be selling copies of his book detailing his crossing of the English Channel in a bathtub.

One woman, despite having been told this fact was presumably so much in denial that on leaving the auditorium she was heard to utter, ‘I wonder what his book is about?’

Royal Navy

Sadly CityLife didn’t catch the look on her face when she reached the merchandise stand and realised FitzHigham wasn’t joking. 

FitzHigham has this affect on many people, for a large chunk of his book on the adventure, All At Sea, he’s on the phone to various people - from the Royal Navy to the Channel Crossing Association - having to repeat the refrain, ‘yes in a bath, I want to cross the channel in a bath.’

But then it is his own fault; he will keep doing these things (not that we would have it any other way). It started with his captaining a paper boat up the Thames beating an almost 400-year-old record.

Then in 2004, inspired by his river adventure and whilst sat in his ma and pa’s very much landlocked bath in Hertfordshire he decided he’d row a tub across the English Channel, the busiest shipping lane in the world.

Piece of plumbing

His parents vetoing the idea of him borrowing their piece of plumbing, he got on the phone to bath companies and the only one with a sufficiently mischievous sense of adventure to actually supply the vessel for FitzHigham’s adventure was Thomas Crapper & Co.

As his mission develops, along the way FitzHigham gathers about him a collection of people willing to help in his scheme.

Most of them reacting with disbelief, amusement and sure in the knowledge that FitzHigham is a prize nutcase but thankfully equipped with enough fire in their bellies to be willing to aid and abet him.

Then a misguided bet with one of his co-conspirators results in him agreeing to row not just the channel but around Kent and up the Thames to Tower Bridge – adding a distance of a mere 170miles and all for a pint… 

Dislocated shoulders

All at Sea is a tale of dislocated shoulders, lacerated buttocks, seal cheerleading squads and a team of supporters and admirers - some of whom you’ll probably be familiar with.

FitzHigham’s adventure lends itself perfectly to the narrative – it’s naturally full of suspense, set back and triumph needing little embellishment to make it thoroughly readable,but, of course, FitzHigham knows how to weave a compelling and amusing tale.

His skill at storytelling is only matched in his ability to come up with barking ideas.

Since then FitzHigham’s embarked on further adventures - becoming obsessed with Don Quixote, investigated the Karma Sutra and Morris danced from London to Norwich, plus last time we spoke he was working on something for the Edinburgh Fringe this year that there are ‘legal issues’ surrounding.

Rest assured there are plenty more stories to come.

All At Sea is freshly out in paperback.