CityLife

2008: The year that was

PEACE AND LOVE: Ringo

POP critic Gary Ryan's A-Z of music in 2008:

Autograph ban

Ringo Starr complains about the extent of fanmail he receives. In a crotchety message on his website, he threatens autograph-hunters "with peace and love". The cost of a stamp to send mail to Ringo? 32p. The value of seeing his face when he opens it? Priceless.

Back to beige

2008 saw the rise of the PG-rated Amy Winehouses: Duffy, Gabriella Cilmi and Adele, all have the vocal prowess of the Camden crooner but without the Oddbins' loyalty card.

Cherry Chapstick

What Katy Perry thinks girls taste of. Her fauxmosexual pop song I Kissed A Girl, topped the charts over the summer, and is all about the L-word: Lucre.

Disillusion Row

"She lives on Disillusion Row," trilled Johnny Borrell in Razorlight's single Wire To Wire. Only pipped to the post as worst lyric by The Killers 'Are we human or are we dancer?'- so bad, you half-assumed the mafia hired Brandon Flowers to take out a hit on 'rhyme'.

Enigma

"I'm an enigma and I love it," comments bachelor boy Cliff Richard, after revealing that he lives with an ex-priest. An Enigma? Really?

Fans strike back

Noel Gallagher is attacked mid-gig in Toronto.

Good education

Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut becomes THE place to study in 2008, as alumni included pyschonauts-du-jour MGMT, Santogold, Amazing Baby and Boy Crisis; turning it into Carnaby Street for the iPod generation.

Half a century

Madonna celebrates her 50th birthday by... cracking a smile. She topped the charts with Hard Candy in April, and rounded off the year by getting divorced from Guy Ritchie. In mud slinging, Madge introduces the song Miles Away in a gig in Boston with: "This song is for the emotionally retarded."

If You Seek Amy

A pun-laden track from Britney Spears' back-from-the-brink album Circus. Spears started the year in hospital for mental health evaluation, and ended with comeback single Womanizer.

Jay-Z at Glastonbury

Like King Canute with a guitar, Noel Gallagher proclaimed doom when it was announced that Jay-Z was to headline Glastonbury. The Jiggerman responds with a video comparing the rap-intolerant Oasis star to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il and performing a sardonic cover version of Wonderwall.

Killed by the internet

Rappers Lil' Wayne and assure the public in November that they were still alive, despite online hoaxes claiming they had both met grisly ends.

Lost this year...

RIP: Eartha Kitt, Issac Hayes, Brandon Flowers's comedy moustache.

Long time coming

Guns 'N Roses finally unleash Chinese Democracy. Dr Pepper celebrates by giving every American a free can of pop.

Man bands

Inspired by the success of Take That, New Kids On The Block and Boyzone reform much in the same way as reformed meat.

Originality (allegedly)

Joe Satriani files a lawsuit against Coldplay alleging that Vida La Vida borrows heavily from his song, If I Could Fly.

Put a donk on it

The year's best catchphrase courtesy of (council) house troupe, the Blackout Crew.

Rickrolling

An online phenomenon whereby Rick Astley's Eighties hit Never Gonna Give You Up has been hidden behind a variety of fake, tantalising links, like the music video version of Happy Slapping. At the MTV Europe Music Awards, he was hyperbolically named Best Act Ever.

Sasha Fierce

The alter-ego of Beyonce Knowles revealed to the world on her double album, I Am ...Sasha Fierce. Beyonce's sister Solange also made a comeback, with decent album Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams.

To have and to hold... at least until the album comes out

Peaches Geldof marries Max Drummy, from US band Chester French in Las Vegas. Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz tied the knot to Ashlee Simpson and gave birth to a little emo child.

Upsetting Mickey Mouse

Gallows are banned from playing Disneyland because of the content of their lyrics.

Virginity

The Jonas Brothers are mocked at the MTV Video Music Awards by Russell Brand.

We're out

Hamfatter went on Dragons Den and convinced Peter Jones to part with £75,000.

X Factor

Cheryl Cole emerges as the nation's sweetheart with her 'plain speaking in a glitzy frock' and winner Alexandra Burke's cover of Hallelujah becomes the Christmas number one.

Yes!

Elbow scoop the Mercury Music Award and everyone unilaterally agrees it is well-deserved.

Zip me up

Imagine how disappointed we were when we booked tickets in the stalls for George Michael's world tour - only to discover it actually just meant standing.