CityLife

Art of Comedian of the Year judge

Marissa Burgess

“WHY don’t you try stand-up for yourself, instead of sitting in judgement?” That’s been suggested to me on many occasions – but I’ve never done it, largely because the idea of trying to make a roomful of complete strangers laugh scares and perplexes me.

Consequently, when it comes to watching, reviewing or judging comedy, I’ve always held a certain respect and admiration for anyone who attempts to make people laugh, as ill-advised as it may be.

So it’s with this in mind that I’ve tried to approach judging the CityLife.co.uk Comedian of the Year Competition each year since becoming CityLife Comedy Editor in 1999 - and will keep in mind as I embark upon judging it for the tenth time this year.

Effortless

One of the main things the competition teaches you is not to prejudge. Even when you already know some of the acts, you never know what you’re going to see on the night. There’s a tendency to see a newcomer’s name in the line up and to think that they’re going to be no good simply because you’ve never heard of them before – though of course you would never act on this.

Alan Carr is a brilliant example. In 2000, Alan Carr and Justin Moorhouse stood out above the rest, both were professional and effortless. Moorhouse had upped his game in the competition, though we’d seen him on the circuit the transformation was significantly noticeable. Carr however was a complete unknown, his gig in the heat of the competition was his third and he had the crowd rolling with laughter, as he had done with the occupants of his table before he even took to the stage.

In previous years Peter Kay had been another bolt from the blue; all bets were on known circuit regular Johnny Vegas in 1996 but in the end Kay pipped it. There are always unexpected decisions. You learn early on not to take a trip to the bookies, you can never be sure what’s going to happen on the night.

Highlights

In 1999 Jackie Valencio (better known these days as Archie Kelly of Phoenix Nights’ fame) was a favourite to win; and though he had created a hilariously crafted entertainer character, on the night of the final, it was the 18-year-old Jason Manford’s charisma - despite his youth - that shone through and beat Kelly into a close second place.

There have been many highlights over the last nine years, not least seeing the aforementioned Jason Manford and Justin Moorhouse win and Alan Carr as a finalist; but also the hotly-tipped, relocated-Scouser John Bishop’s victory in 2001 - and the Geordie-Manchester resident Seymour Mace win in 2003. Plus there are many acts you get to see for the first time. As well as Carr, there was Liverpudlian scally Nige - created by the talented character comedian Keith Carter - who reached the top three in 2001.

Weirdly I always feel nervous for the acts. Rather than sitting in gleeful judgement on them like a comedic (and considerably less hirsute) Simon Cowell, if someone fluffs a punchline it’s painful to watch. Sometimes someone you know is a good act has a shaky set.

In 2001 John Bishop was a newcomer to the scene, but an absolute natural comic. Everyone on the circuit expected him to win that year but, at the top of his stint, he told an off-the-cuff gag about CityLife that had mixed results. He swiftly turned it around and was easily the most deserving contender - but, for a moment there, his victory was as unstable as Britney Spears' custody chances.

Difficult

Then there’s the queasy feeling of wanting to slip slowly under the seat in front as a very nervy newcomer woefully underestimates how difficult it really is. One act in the first year I judged stumbled over her prewritten set and completely vacantly repeated one of her lines, desperately frozen and unable to move onto the next one.

Then there’s delight in witnessing the eccentrics that a comedy competition never fails to attract. In recent years, the larger-than-life Marr Bum and his repeated cry of ‘does anyone want to see Marr Bum?’ had everyone who had seen the performance (and those that had simply heard about it) tittering for weeks to come – though possibly for the wrong reasons.

Then there was the legendary (at least round these parts) Alan Wilde, who poured his pint over his own head and compared his popularity in that room to that of Hitler’s in one heat. He moved to London some years ago and we still miss him.

When you take the position of judge in a competition they’ll always be people that think it’s a fix, you weren’t paying attention when they were on, or that you were just plain wrong. Judges in the past have been threatened over a decision - but usually it just takes the form of overhearing complaints about who should/shouldn’t have won whilst standing in the queue for the ladies afterwards.

And wouldn’t life be boring if we all agreed on the same thing?

The Channel M CityLife Comedian of the Year Final is at the Comedy Store on Sunday, October 26. £10 - £27.