CityLife

Former footballer Paul Lake talks about his new book

 A Life-changing injury is what shaped the life of Paul Lake. It should have been a glorious career in football, a story of international tours and trophies, but instead the one-time young star of the Manchester City squad saw his dreams shattered in 1990 when he ruptured the cruciate ligament in his right knee.

  A long period of surgery and physiotherapy was ineffective; 21 years on, Paul has endured 15 operations on his right leg and major surgery to straighten his left leg as a consequence of the strain put on it.   “Having a good leg to stand on would be nice,” he jokes, as we catch up at The Etihad Stadium to talk about his autobiography, I’m Not Really Here, published earlier this month and which he now supports from this weekend with a series of in-store signings.   His memories of that time are sad in the extreme – even the title of the book is remarkably poignant.   “There are some days in your career that you never forget,” he says about the team photo on the cover. “I had on brand new boots that I’d had for three years but never worn, I had to pull on a shirt I’d not worn since 1992 as well.   “I saw all the guys around me excited about the next season, talking about their new cars and holidays. I could have been anywhere but there. The photographer shouted to me, ‘Hello Mr Lake, are you with us?’, and I said, ‘No, I’m not really here’. I knew it was over.”    Manchester City’s fortunes were very different back then, and Paul says he was “neglected” by his club during his time in rehabilitation – “No one phoned me, no one came to see how I was feeling,” he remembers.   “We only had one physio and one part time doctor, so I was training by myself most of the time.   “And I was having to perform match day duties for two or three years, coming to the game but being no nearer to playing than the fans on the stands.   “I had depression by that time, the dread of having to come to a game was all consuming. It took me five hours to get out of bed, I had to put on a painted smile, say the same lines to the fans, ‘Hopefully back in six weeks’, it got that bad that I couldn’t look at the pitch.”   One day, the police found him on a motorway bridge in Cheadle. He never intended to jump, but suicide was on his mind. Instead, he went to see a doctor and eventually checked into the Priory.   “Depression never truly leaves you,” he says, candidly, “but you find coping mechanisms to be able to deal with life, and you learn what opportunities you still have despite feeling so down.”   The agony of those years has never left Paul, but his autobiography is far from a tale of woe. Having been put out of the game at the age of 21 (Paul formally retired at 26, after five years on the bench), he retrained as a chartered physiotherapist and went on to work with clubs in every division, including Bolton Wanderers, Oldham, Burnley and Macclesfield Town.   “I was able to come back because I had some self worth again,” he says. “I knew I could help players deal with their injuries as well as the psychological effects of their injuries.   “I’d like to think I had a positive effect on people’s lives who I came into contact with.”   And I’m Not Really Here isn’t just a book about football, either. Paul grew up in Manchester while it was the coolest creative place on the planet, and he vividly recounts his memories of the Hacienda and being part of the Factory scene.   He’s also passionate about music – as the chapters of his book prove; among the sub-headings are Sheila Take A Bow (in tribute to his mum), Half A World Away and There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.   The last of those chapters is about his continued association with Manchester City, where he now works as an ambassador for City in the community.   “I ask the question in the book, ‘How will I be remembered?’,” he says. “We have Colin Bell remembered for probably being our best ever footballer, Tommy Booth who scored the semi-final cup goal, Tony Book is the most captained player.   “Will I be remembered for winning the youth cup against Manchester United for the first time ever, for being one of the youngest ever captains, or for having this injury and being the player that never was?   “Although it was cathartic writing this book, it has left a taste in my mouth.    “But I’ve also been able to look back and reflect on all the good things.   “We didn’t want this to be a misery memoir, and there’s a lot of fun in there and it really captures those times. A lot of people say to me, ‘I read your book in two days and I’ve never laughed and cried so much’.   “It will be nice to talk to people at these signings about those times, and to hear other people’s memories.”   I’m Not Really Here, published by Century, is out now (£14.99). Signings: Market Street City Store, today (3pm-5pm); WH Smith Trafford Centre, tomorrow (3pm-4pm); Waterstone’s Stockport, Sept 3 (2pm-4pm); Simply Books, Bramhall, October 15 (11am-midday);  Costco Barton Dock, Urmston, October 22 (midday); Waterstone’s Deansgate, November 26 (midday-2pm).