Family man Dave's taking steps to success
“I’VE got two now. She’s getting maternal again, I might go into the shed and snip it meself,” chuckles Dave Twentyman about the prospect of having more kids in the kind of cheeky but straight-talking comment that has endeared him to the comedy scene.
In his broad St Helens burr he’s charmed and funnied his way across the circuit; luckily it works with his wife, Sue, too particularly when he used to get himself into hot water appearing on Michelle Mullane’s radio show (firstly on BBC Manchester, then Xfm and now on Key 103), forgetting that there are others listening.
“I used to be so relieved when I got home and my missus hadn’t listened to it. I got myself into so much trouble; you’d end up coming out with too much,” he confesses. Though to be fair his wife only has herself to blame…
“It was the missus really that said why don’t you give it a go? It was one of those things that if I were in a group of friends I was always centre of attention and really enjoyed it. Without even realising I was just cracking jokes and things like that.”
His first gig was given to him by the late Martin Cassidy, a comedian and who was then running the Lock ‘n’ Load gig in Blackburn. As Twentyman was roaring drunk at the time he sailed through his first gig. Well, at least it felt like it.
“I just went to watch but he gave me the option, ‘if you want to do five minutes you can.’ I got really drunk, I had about seven or eight pints, and I was just hammered and I said go on, I’ll have a go and so he let me. I think that was the end of 2002 or something. I got a big laugh and I was well chuffed. I died on my backside but I don’t think I noticed.”
So he tried it again at the Frog and Bucket, but this time he was as sober as funeral parlour and the reaction to his set had a similar atmosphere. So he decided it was a good idea to keep himself well soused.
Sober
“I didn’t have the balls to do it sober so I’d always get drunk and me missus would have to pick me up from train station. It was a shame for her, she’d pick me up from Newton-le-Willows and driving back I was like, ‘I love you.’” Well at least she hung on in there.
“Yeah, she put up with me miraculously; I don’t know how she’s done it. It was a nightmare for ages until I had to pluck up courage to start doing it sober. I was so nervous.”
Still, eventually he managed it to perform stand up without being half-cut and these days earns a fair old living on the circuit. This month he’s one of the few acts not currently in Edinburgh at the Fringe Festival so he’s taking full advantage of not being able to justify heading up there.
“I’d love to go but I’m married and that, I’ve got the kids, I get homesick. I found that with not going to Edinburgh loads of opportunities pop up around here. I’m doing Leeds festival again, that’s really good, you get the opportunity to perform in front of 3,000 people and it’s a massive tent, it’s brilliant.”
Plus he’s up for some other experiences too. “I’d love to branch off and do something else as well but keep doing comedy. I love what Jason (Manford) and Justin (Moorhouse) did with the radio, that’s something I’d love doing. I’ve been for a couple of auditions recently as well, one was that Virgin 1 channel and they asked me to do the voices for the puppets.
"I was down to the last two and I was gutted (when I didn’t get it). Another one last week was a McVitie’s advert. I didn’t get that either. But I was pleased about that; it was the cheesiest advert ever.”
But in the long term his ambitions are modest ones and lie pretty close to home.
“I just want to get a bit of money, get my little girl a horse, my little lad a Scalextric. I’m laughing then. I know there’s a bit of a difference between a horse and a Scalextric price wise. I don’t know what else to get him,” he laughs.
Maybe two Scalextric?
Dave Twentyman is at Sidetracked Comedy on Thursday, August 27, at Mirth on Monday at the Iguana Bar on Bank Holiday Monday, the Rochdale Comedy Club in Lime on Saturday, September 5, XSMalarkey on Tuesday, September 8 and comperes the Brocket Comedy Night in Wigan on Sunday, September 27.
Published: Mon, 17 August, 2009
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